no rest for the weary
Current mood: drained
Category: Life

nobody i know except for my mother knows how this feels.

i went to bed at 9:00pm only to wake up to the sound of choking and crying coming from my youngest daughters room at 3:00am. scared and confused i bolted out of bed and made my way to her room. that is where i found her choking on her own vomit, like some sort of two year old rock star, and it was not funny. i pulled her out of bed and took her to the bathroom where she retched and heaved and i held her tight, blinking back the sleep from my eyes. finally when it seemed as thouigh she had no more to give, we went into her room to clean her and her bed up...pulling off blankets, stripping off clothes, my mom side took over. i crooned to her making little jokes and singing little songs. finally smiling, we got into my bed at about 3:45 am where we lay side by side, staring at one another while i rubbed her soft baby hair til'...............................she puked again, this time all over my bed. back to the bathroom, then back to my bedroom to strip the sheets of MY bed and the clothes off of both of us this time. sigh...now, we scavenged some pillows and made our way to the couch where everytime she lay horizontally, she would begin to puke. super mom to the rescue... i sat up with a blanket and a bucket, her little limp body curled up in my lap as she snored and stiffened at intervals to puke in her bucket and cry, cry, cry. i sat like this, rubbing her back and watching the gray light that they call early morning make its way into my living room as my burning eyes finally closed and violet finally dozed we were one...covered in vomit and sweat, i found myself immensely thankful for having these annoying children to teach me what life really is....beautiful and terrible for i realized then that though i was covered in filth, it did not matter, because this was the best hug i had gotten all week.

how lucky i am to be able to revel in the realities of life at almost every waking moment. nothing there to lull me into a false sense of security, i have children and love and sometimes i think i may know what life is all about.