I am lucky
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

I believe myself to be lucky. I can find beauty anywhere. It is what I want so it is what I get.

I say this because at the moment I am reflecting on my little family and what they give me. Today was a good day. Earlier in the day I walked down oberlin st. to the post office in the warm noonday sun with my youngest daughter. An adventure. To her. We walked along, me striding, skipping, her jumping up on every curb and step that we happened to pass, laughing and talking. "look at this mommy!" "look at me!" I am lucky because although this was just an average day, I got to see it through the eyes of a small child and my heart was lighter than most. So what if the world is dark? So what if bad things happen? I have got these good things to hold onto. To always remember. For good or bad. At the post office, I got to smell the warm sunshine in her hair, kiss her lips and taste the sweetness of applejuice.

Later in the day, after my eldest daughter came home, we decided to go out to dinner at mojos...total excitement and chaos ensued at the mention of such a mundane outing. We cannot afford to go out to dinner much so when we do, it is major. My eldest daughter flung herself into my arms, the largest, shiniest grin gracing her smooth features. I was sitting on the couch and she curled up next to me hugging me tight, when her younger sister(a known copycat) decided that she now needed to get a piece of this mommy action so she too climbed up beside me(my other side) and hugged me tight. So there they were, facing one another, me in between, their arms entangled, their faces resting on my chest, their legs over mine and that was when I realized that I was so fucking lucky and happy that I could really cry from the emotion. I could look down and see the tops of their smooth high foreheads, the round slope of their cheeks, the beginning strength of their noses and feeling the weight of their bodies against mine, all I could think was that I gave them LIFE! I carried them for nine months only to give birth to them and nurture them with my body, mind and soul and here they are, growing fast, giggling, loving and hugging...me.

Really, I am lucky.

I would want things to be no other way.