goodbye sweet youth, I must prime myself for death.
Category: Life

waking up, lacy clad ass in the air, a teeny tiny tank top my only shield from my environment, in a random boys bed. haha, well not completely random, I mean I know him and it was not like THAT but geez. My best friend threw me a thirtieth birthday party last night and I got pretty tanked. o.k. more lies, I got shit faced almost puking drunk and I have not one regret. I am going to look at it for what it is, one last walk of shame down the hallway of my twenties, one last hurrah, complete with all my friends who love me old and new. my actual birthday is on wednesday and I have already been on my way away from the heavy drinking, debauchery filled days of my past. I have been settling down, enjoying days at the pool with my kids, reading harry potter and *gasp* sometimes even watching movies. not to say that the seed of rowdiness has died forever, this is just to say that I take pride in where I have been and how hard it was to get here. I am going to shout my age to the rooftops, tell the truth to anybody who asks because I deserve this. I embrace this. I wear my age like a badge of courage, pride and beauty. yeah fuck it. I will see the beauty in this too. ya got to right? so, I understand that the physical beauty is on its way out and I therefore have to cultivate my mental strength, my caustic wit, my amazing intellect, and my painterly prowess. this is the second phase. death is that much closer but I am about to hit my prime and my stride is strong. This is positive and in no way shameful and though I grew up around women who lied about their age, choosing vanity over pride, I have chosen to rise above that and prove to my grandmothers and their mothers that there IS such a thing as growing old gracefully. I have seen it from time to time and I know it exists. It is just a case of mind over matter...

no more twenty-nine for me. I scoff at the idea...HA.